Tales of a “Tantruming” Mother
A Real Mom Meltdown Story That Ended in Snacks and Slight Regret:
Vacationing with Small Kids Edition-
There are certain things about myself I simply wish weren’t so. You know, the things your family knows, but you would like to keep from your in-laws lest they realize how crazy you really are. Unfortunately for me, my 15 years old self had far less poise & ousted my peculiarities to my husband’s family many years back (on multiple occasions). Gracious people that they are, I’m still accepted with open arms. However, I like to pretend they would find anything other than pristine behavior simply unimaginable. The only problem is, once you let the crazy loose, it’s a whole lot harder to keep contained. Then you go ahead and add a couple kids to the mix…Yowza.
The approximate time I started to let loose on some of that crazy…
Some families have mottos like, “Families that play together stay together” or “No one gets left behind,” but the family motto playing in my mind these days sounds a whole lot more like, “Y’all gonna make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here.” The fact that they are literally my most favorite people on the planet still doesn’t quite guarantee my sanity. The truth is, they might not even be to blame, yet it does beg to question who exactly drove mama to this point of such public displays of said personality flaws.
Nevertheless, it has recently occurred to me how much I have in common with my two year old. I wish I could tell you the similarities resemble a care-free spirit, child-like silliness, and unashamed confidence, but we relate in other ways. We fight naps and are fretfully affected by lack of sleep. We need plentiful snacks to keep lunacy at bay and we thrive when life’s plans align with our expectations. But most of all, we tantrum. Well to be accurate, we pout and when our disposition doesn’t improve, then we tantrum. Full fit throwing, throw caution to the wind, dig your heels in, feel embarrassment later, tantrums. I don’t recommend it , as it never seems to go well for us, but no one can say it's for lack of gusto on our part.
This is a tale of a mother who is very much of mothering age and yet, much to her dismay, has a particular tendency towards temper tantrums.
The 11 month old decided to pop her worst teeth yet, the top two to be exact. The kind that keep you up late into the night and wake you at the crack of dawn. The two year old resigned herself to a fever. We were living in close quarters with nothing but a sliding door that did little to block sound or light separating us from said offspring. Did I mention we were also on a 10 day trip to paradise? Who said fun has to stop when you have kids?
And there's my other problem…expectations. Instead of taking things in stride, I tend towards a more aggressive and domineering approach. You know; the kind that kills the trip with intensive research, borderline excessive lists, & packing that would support a few months extension of said expedition. Preparedness is my armor and I rally the troops that is my family and graciously tell them with forcefulness that this will be the best family vacation and we will make fun memories, and we will single handedly prove that vacationing with small children is the thing that’s missing in everyone else’s life. Then I add in some witty “no pressure” tidbit & lock that lofty expectation into a safe and easily accessible corner of my mind.
Unfortunately, I’m not joking when I say that I take packing too seriously and I only wish (for the affect it will have on my reputation) that a good majority of these bags weren’t ours. This is what the lap of luxury looks like: we wanted for nothing — except possibly better behaved children.
Back to the shared room, fussy children, and lack of sleep; once again tying it to my inner toddler & que the poolside scene. I vaguely remember dropping off a screaming stroller with our sea of vacationing family members and yelling something about how all options seem to be closed off to me in motherhood except getting fatter and should anyone care to find me I would be at the local Mexican McDonalds. Perhaps shouting would be a more accurate depiction & there may have been slight foot stomping, & surely a couple exasperated huffs for good measure. I of course seasoned the deal with storming off, mustn't forget the signature exit. Stephen followed me, as I hoped he would, all the way to that local Mickey D’s for that cono oreo that would set things aright and get us back on track. The walk was good for the rage which quickly turned to a stream of tears, such is the common plight of toddler tantrums. As if Ronald himself sensed the injustice of rewarding such a fit, he personally saw to it that the delectable treat machine was currently out of sorts.
Meanwhile, impressing myself with my Spanish Donalds order and contemplating whether my accent sounded practically native, I took a second to process the “No helado” comment. This time I laughed, but the unfairness of the whole situation was most surely tucked away in the Cancun injustices department of my mind.
The laugh was a victory for the day, a sign of true adult maturity. Too bad I wouldn’t be able to say the same in three days' time standing before airport security with crazed eyes, 12 too many bags, 2 children, and failing arm gestures, yelling, “Seriously!? Seriously!?” at another random security check. Fortunately airports are those safe zones. What happens there, stays there kind of entities. So that is a story for never, it is a story that does not ever need speaking of again. It could have just as easily been someone else yelling at their husband for their passport while a loose, over packed bag raced down the jet bridge and violently slammed into the far unsuspecting wall. It likely never happened that a priority boarding mother “tantrumed” and glared while yelling, “Seriously!?” and claiming to have a million children in front of the poor airport officers and onlooking standards boarders. But, even if it did happen, which it very presumably did not, surely the language barrier would leave everything to seem very civil. Yet, it is all hearsay at this point.
Shoutout to the fellow who had to sit next to this peanut on a 5 hour plane flight, your sacrifice made our trip possible, and we thank you.
I do however clearly remember the baby getting a fever on the flight home and the rest of the family ending up with Covid the following day. What can I say? We Wrays like to go out with a bang. But then again, perspective is everything and this is a story about tantruming and would serve no real point in telling about all the good times that also most definitely occurred. Here is the part where I save face and tell the faithful readers that have made it thus far that each tantrum was a small joke and I’m a grown mother and I don’t throw fits and that would be so ridiculous to have actually done any of those things.
However, if one of you poor, unfortunate souls ever finds yourself out of sorts on a certain family “vacation”, then I shall leave you with a few nuggets of wisdom.
Full disclosure: I was mid–meltdown when this picture was taken, which honestly makes my smile pretty impressive. Never underestimate a mom on a mission for that Christmas card photo. Peep the girls’ faces—they say it all. I shall cherish this gem forever.
On my own, looking for a vacation or ice cream cone that will satisfy, I always find myself coming up short. You would think, I would at least expect the unfulfillment by now, but it seems to catch me by surprise Every. Single. Time. There are many character flaws that rear their ugly heads at times within me, but they also don’t define me. The truth is, I am a daughter of the Most High King. He has redeemed me and through Him I am a new and free creation. I continue to find that He alone satisfies. He fulfills me in ways even the greatest vacation, the best behaved children, and the most doting husband ever could. Holiness is Christ in me. The parts of myself that I love are the parts that He has refined. When I find myself out of sorts, I simply need to take pause and spend time with the I AM that made me me.
“Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and His wonderful deeds for mankind, for He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.”
***Open up the Word today and be filled by: Isaiah 58:11 & Psalm 103:1-5
Have you ever thrown an adult tantrum you swore was totally justified… until you noticed the wide-eyed onlookers? While I’m a firm believer that fun and vacationing don’t have to stop once kids come along, I’ve also learned that not every trip feels like a vacation—especially when sleep and snacks are scarce.
Spill the chaos: What’s your most memorable (or mortifying) family vacation moment—and did anyone get the ice cream?
