Lucy’s Story
A Second Trimester Miscarriage and Loss Journey:
This is the story of our baby girl Lucy, who we lost at 17 weeks. It’s painful and yet still hope filled, and I’m sharing it for the mama who needs to know she’s not alone.
2023- To be honest, Lucy’s story is one I know very little about. Yet, the short role I got to play in her much larger story will forever remain precious to me. She has me thinking about heaven more and what standing by Jesus' side will look like. A place without tears, or pain, or suffering. I can’t even wrap my mind around that kind of splendor. One day, I will know.
I had 17 weeks to carry our little Lou and our whole family was looking forward to her arrival. Finney knew she would be here by Christmas. There have been many dreams that we have had to let go of, one by one.
We lost her quickly, painlessly, and very unexpectedly. I woke up at 4am to my water breaking & the hospital instructed me to wait it out. She was born at home 2 hours later. A 17 week old baby is still quite small, but perfectly formed. If the situation hadn’t been so traumatic, it would be hard not to just be amazed at the Lord’s handiwork.
As you can imagine, there have been lots of questions tormenting my mind the past couple weeks as it all happened so fast. But, I recently received some news that has given me a great shift in perspective.
At 16 weeks I was to go in for my second round of genetic testing, but I had been putting it off for no other reason than being 16 weeks pregnant with two small girls at home. After we lost Lucy, they continued with the testing. As it turns out, she was diagnosed with something called Edwards Syndrome. Though rare, it tends to be very lethal and were the pregnancy to continue she would likely be born stillborn or pass away within the first week of life.
It has been a lot of news to process and there are still a lot of hard days, but I cannot deny the fact that the Lord has given me a gift and a sweet mercy. He gave me her, my little Lulu that I will get to know fully one day. Her life is a gift. He gave my family the joy of loving her for 17 weeks when all that surrounded her life at that point was happiness and anticipation. And then, the week I was to discover that she would not be ours for long, He took her home where she stands completely healed and whole at His side. He gave my family life. Instead of walking the next few months anticipating her death, we are processing the gift of her life. The Lord has been good and merciful to us.
Though there are still many tears to be shed, I can’t help, but praise the Lord for all that He has done for my family. I have no doubt that many have been praying on our behalf, as I can feel the Lord’s nearness and the support of the body of Christ. When I walk through the fire, I shall not be burned for He is with me. He has given my mind answers unexpectedly and He continually reassures my soul. Praise Jesus.
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Hold One of Israel, your Savior. ”
I wanted to thank those of you who have been praying over us and taking care of my family so beautifully as we process this loss. I figured an update might encourage some of your souls to see how the Lord works on our behalf, often in ways unseen or unknown. He is always good and always remains true to His character. On the days where there are no answers and only pain, lean on Him. He is hope and He is enough.
